An unwanted remnant of a memory stabs into Jim's chest and he very nearly shouts that yes Felix should have let him but he stops. It's an unfair request and Jim knows it. They're promised to be wed and that means Jim can't be so cavalier about his own life anymore. He's been trying so hard to be better about it but in this specific case old habits reared their ugly sallow cheeked heads.

"You should have pulled me aside and demanded to talk like I'm doing now." Jim knows his voice is trembling and he's not sure if he's more angry with himself or Felix in this moment. There's guilt in his words too. "When I decided to do this I knew I was giving you my life. I know I'm completely worthless at taking care of it but I do realize there's a reason to now. It would've been a fucking painful conversation but it needed to happen and it didn't."

Jim's at fault too and he knows it. Normally he'd try to dodge that but he won't run away from a poor conversation when that's exactly what he's accusing Felix of doing. The captain's got too much pride for that. Which...might have been part of the problem in the first place.

"I needed to leave, you're right. But us leaving isn't all I'm talking about. It's the rest of it. The way it happened." Opening up all the closets full of skeletons in his heart and meeting nothing but closed doors when he tries to look in turn.

"How can I have a conversation with you about what our options are if you won't tell me anything?"