"Okay....okay." Jim looks around their quarters. His chest is still so tight with withheld emotion. Frustration welled up with nowhere to go. If Felix talks out his bad choices now Jim's not wholly certain he's going to be able to keep quiet and let Felix work through those rough memories on his own time.
"Let me...get you something to eat. Settled again. I need. I need to take a walk first." Maybe head down to the gym and work out some frustrations. Head down to the observation deck and sort out how he's feeling about all of this where no one else can linger and prod him about it.
"I'll come back in a bit, grab some food, and you can tell me then."
Jim can see the worry and hesitation on his husband's face. Expects the quiet dismissal that Felix isn't hungry right now. How could he think of eating with the scare Jim's given him? Knowing Jim is so hurt and upset because of him? It's not a decision Jim's going to dispute. Once Felix is arranged as comfortably as can be seen to on their bed Jim leaves their quarters.
The Enterprise-A is large enough he could pace its halls without fear of doubling back on himself for quite some time but her captain has a few places he prefers to linger when needing time and space to think. At this time of Beta there's still plenty of people milling about either waiting for their shift to start or winding down from their day. Not the best time to spend lingering in the gym. Not when he's in no mood to be social. So too are the observation decks similarly bustling with people taking their meals or enjoying time off the clock. Jim heads instead for the turbolift to venture down into Engineering. It's taken years for him to be comfortable down here again, but before his untimely temporary demise this would probably be his second favorite place on the entire ship after the bridge.
Jim finds Scotty's latest out of the way repair project he comes round to poke at when the ship's chief engineer wants to be left alone. It's easy to find if one knows to look for places about the size to hide a tea kettle that shouldn't be stored down here. Scotty's no here now, but Jim can message him and see what all needs doing. An hour or so of getting his hands dirty will go a long way toward helping him calm down.
He thinks about the fear in Felix's eyes as he's muscling a spanner back into a hard to reach nook. Jim's frustrations don't change how much he cares for his husband. Down here no one can hear him swear to himself. No one will judge what he says. If he sheds tears. There's just the work to be done in front of him.
Jim works until his arms start to ache. Until there's a growing concern that Scotty will turn up to ask after him. As much as the captain enjoys his friend's company now is not the time to go sharing a drink and feeling sorry for himself. No matter how much Jim may want to avoid Felix for the moment the mage is still injured. Has promised to tell Jim the whole story of his time spent sneaking back off to Rielle.
No, he won't keep Felix waiting for that long. As his stomach grumbles for its neglect Jim puts away the tools he'd taken out and makes for the cafeteria. He's already selected Felix's favorite options out of habit before Jim scowls slightly at himself as he arranges the tray to bring back to their quarters. Well. Maybe it'll be enough to coax Felix to eat something with Jim while he tells his tale.
It's an hour and a half later when the door hisses back open and Jim returns with food in hand. It fills the room with the scent of beef and vegetable stew with a hearty bread to go alongside it. No ale to drink with it though--Felix will have to settle for another cup of tea when Jim sets the tray down on the side table.
"Hope you're a bit more hungry now." It's all Jim offers at first for conversation. He's no longer clenching his jaw or pacing like a caged beast. The vaguely artificial chemical smell that clings to Jim speaks of where he's been, as do the small grease stains on his face and clothing.
no subject
"Let me...get you something to eat. Settled again. I need. I need to take a walk first." Maybe head down to the gym and work out some frustrations. Head down to the observation deck and sort out how he's feeling about all of this where no one else can linger and prod him about it.
"I'll come back in a bit, grab some food, and you can tell me then."
Jim can see the worry and hesitation on his husband's face. Expects the quiet dismissal that Felix isn't hungry right now. How could he think of eating with the scare Jim's given him? Knowing Jim is so hurt and upset because of him? It's not a decision Jim's going to dispute. Once Felix is arranged as comfortably as can be seen to on their bed Jim leaves their quarters.
The Enterprise-A is large enough he could pace its halls without fear of doubling back on himself for quite some time but her captain has a few places he prefers to linger when needing time and space to think. At this time of Beta there's still plenty of people milling about either waiting for their shift to start or winding down from their day. Not the best time to spend lingering in the gym. Not when he's in no mood to be social. So too are the observation decks similarly bustling with people taking their meals or enjoying time off the clock. Jim heads instead for the turbolift to venture down into Engineering. It's taken years for him to be comfortable down here again, but before his untimely temporary demise this would probably be his second favorite place on the entire ship after the bridge.
Jim finds Scotty's latest out of the way repair project he comes round to poke at when the ship's chief engineer wants to be left alone. It's easy to find if one knows to look for places about the size to hide a tea kettle that shouldn't be stored down here. Scotty's no here now, but Jim can message him and see what all needs doing. An hour or so of getting his hands dirty will go a long way toward helping him calm down.
He thinks about the fear in Felix's eyes as he's muscling a spanner back into a hard to reach nook. Jim's frustrations don't change how much he cares for his husband. Down here no one can hear him swear to himself. No one will judge what he says. If he sheds tears. There's just the work to be done in front of him.
Jim works until his arms start to ache. Until there's a growing concern that Scotty will turn up to ask after him. As much as the captain enjoys his friend's company now is not the time to go sharing a drink and feeling sorry for himself. No matter how much Jim may want to avoid Felix for the moment the mage is still injured. Has promised to tell Jim the whole story of his time spent sneaking back off to Rielle.
No, he won't keep Felix waiting for that long. As his stomach grumbles for its neglect Jim puts away the tools he'd taken out and makes for the cafeteria. He's already selected Felix's favorite options out of habit before Jim scowls slightly at himself as he arranges the tray to bring back to their quarters. Well. Maybe it'll be enough to coax Felix to eat something with Jim while he tells his tale.
It's an hour and a half later when the door hisses back open and Jim returns with food in hand. It fills the room with the scent of beef and vegetable stew with a hearty bread to go alongside it. No ale to drink with it though--Felix will have to settle for another cup of tea when Jim sets the tray down on the side table.
"Hope you're a bit more hungry now." It's all Jim offers at first for conversation. He's no longer clenching his jaw or pacing like a caged beast. The vaguely artificial chemical smell that clings to Jim speaks of where he's been, as do the small grease stains on his face and clothing.
"I brought enough for both of us."