Prompt: Dubious Gifts
Mar. 3rd, 2021 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conjuredskies“It’s for you! I made it myself.”
Leonard froze. Felix Caelus-Kirk walking through his office door and setting a clinking gift basket in front of him had, briefly, been a very welcome sight. After what the kid had put him through over the past few months – weeks of changing bandages, putting up with Jim’s anxious fretting, strange relatives appearing out of nowhere to track alien soil into his sickbay – a few bottles of good liquor (even Nirnish liquor) would be a very welcome thank-you as far as the doctor was concerned.
But goddamn, if those words coming out of Felix’s mouth didn’t strike fear into a man’s heart.
“That’s… real thoughtful of you, Felix.” Leonard leaned over and lifted the cloth cautiously. The bottles inside were small, oddly-shaped out of the thick glass he’d expected. He’d seen a few of these before. In a way this was his own fault: he was the one who’d cleared Felix to go back to his duties a week ago. “Don’t tell me, this is the stuff you keep brewing up in the botany lab.”
Sulu had started relating lab stories over lunch. Supposedly because he was trying to figure out if Caelus was messing with his head. Felix must have known his reputation because his hands went up defensively.
“Nothing crazy, no alien voodoo ingredients.” Did he even know what that word meant, Leonard wondered? The ‘consultant’ was giving him the earnest, wide-eyed puppy look only Chekov could do better. “Just completely ordinary, edible things you could find at home on Earth. You have my word.” Felix set his hands on either side of the basket. “Consider it a thank you… and a peace offering, of a sort. I know my, ah, background has given you more than a few headaches.”
Leonard sighed. “It’s not your background, Felix.“ Well, all right, he’d feel better if the man came from somewhere they’d heard of vaccination, but that ship hadn’t just sailed, it’d circumnavigated the damn globe by now. “I’d just appreciate it if you’d stop cramming strange leaves in your mouth, or setting yourself on fire, or running off to wrestle gremlins-“
“Goblins?”
Leonard gave him a Look before continuing, “Or waving around goddamned witchcraft when someone’s injured.” Almost always the same Someone, at that.
Felix nodded slowly. “Because that’s your responsibility, and you’ll be damned if you let anything interfere with your patients’ care.” His mouth twitched as Leonard reassessed him. “I actually agree, you know. More than you might think. Your medicine can do things I’ve never seen a healer do, and I’m not a trained healer even on my world. What I can do is pretty limited. I can stop idiots bleeding to death when they drop their axe on their foot, or patch up small ailments out in villages with no healer. I’ve done some pretty good work when I’ve had to- but you know better than I do, keeping someone on their feet long enough to finish a fight doesn’t mean there won’t be complications later.”
He pushed the basket a little closer. “What I’m trying to say is, I’d be a fool not to trust your skills over mine. Especially when it comes to… the people we both care for. But emergencies happen, and I want to help you when I can. So… I made you these. Most of them will just help keep you on your feet in a pinch. Say, next time half of deck thirteen comes down with the Gods-Only-Know fever and you’re kept up wrestling them all back into bed.”
Leonard knew a determined sweet-talking when he was on the receiving end, (he'd known Jim for years) but it was hard not to feel mollified some, after all that. He lifted his eyebrows anyway as he reached in for a bottle. “You realize I’m still gonna screen samples from all of these t’see what’s in them?”
“By all means,” Felix replied, all cheerful confidence. “That one’s mostly just cheese and bread anyway.”
Leonard stopped with his hand around a glass neck as that registered. “You made fondue. In a bottle?”
Felix developed the look of a man swiftly recalculating. “Well, no- it's a- a potion..."
He’d turned the bottle over to look at the contents by then. “You made me bottled fondue… and it’s bright green.”
“…Well, it was green cheese.” That sounded a little too much like thinking fast, but he didn’t crack when Leonard looked up at him. “Orcish cheese is green.”
“Did it start out that way?” Unless Orcish cheese was liquid at room temperature too, Leonard was forming a lot of questions about the consistency of the stuff. Be charitable, assume Felix used a lot of water, and still…
“Of course! Trust me, doctor, this formula has been used for centuries. It really does work. Just… try it when you need it. And the others, they’re all labelled with what they’re for.”
As much as he dearly wanted to drag this out and watch Felix try to explain his kitchen-blender medicine, there was no winning this one. Leonard decided to ease off a little. He still couldn’t resist asking, “What’s in the other-“
“Herbs,” Felix said, firmly and finally. He held the doctor’s eye until Leonard grunted to hide his stifled chuckle.
“All right, I’ll, uh, keep them in reserve.” The bottles might look kind of decorative on a shelf, at least. And if this kept Felix from getting ideas about interfering with his work, he could live with the bargain. He made a note to have those tests run ASAP, though. If Felix was regularly swallowing bread mold elixirs it might explain a few things. For diplomacy's sake, he said, “Appreciate you going to the trouble.”
“I hope you find them useful, someday.” Felix gave him a confident look, like he was sure that would happen eventually. “Have a good day, doctor.”
“You too. And Felix? Glad to see those hands healed up well.”
His smile was pure sunshine before he slipped out the door. “I’m grateful to have them back.”
Leonard eyed the basket for a minute, then picked it up and set it out of sight behind the desk. Later he’d double-take to find the small bottle of Dragontail Whiskey tucked in among the others, and that? That would give him a genuine smile.
Leonard froze. Felix Caelus-Kirk walking through his office door and setting a clinking gift basket in front of him had, briefly, been a very welcome sight. After what the kid had put him through over the past few months – weeks of changing bandages, putting up with Jim’s anxious fretting, strange relatives appearing out of nowhere to track alien soil into his sickbay – a few bottles of good liquor (even Nirnish liquor) would be a very welcome thank-you as far as the doctor was concerned.
But goddamn, if those words coming out of Felix’s mouth didn’t strike fear into a man’s heart.
“That’s… real thoughtful of you, Felix.” Leonard leaned over and lifted the cloth cautiously. The bottles inside were small, oddly-shaped out of the thick glass he’d expected. He’d seen a few of these before. In a way this was his own fault: he was the one who’d cleared Felix to go back to his duties a week ago. “Don’t tell me, this is the stuff you keep brewing up in the botany lab.”
Sulu had started relating lab stories over lunch. Supposedly because he was trying to figure out if Caelus was messing with his head. Felix must have known his reputation because his hands went up defensively.
“Nothing crazy, no alien voodoo ingredients.” Did he even know what that word meant, Leonard wondered? The ‘consultant’ was giving him the earnest, wide-eyed puppy look only Chekov could do better. “Just completely ordinary, edible things you could find at home on Earth. You have my word.” Felix set his hands on either side of the basket. “Consider it a thank you… and a peace offering, of a sort. I know my, ah, background has given you more than a few headaches.”
Leonard sighed. “It’s not your background, Felix.“ Well, all right, he’d feel better if the man came from somewhere they’d heard of vaccination, but that ship hadn’t just sailed, it’d circumnavigated the damn globe by now. “I’d just appreciate it if you’d stop cramming strange leaves in your mouth, or setting yourself on fire, or running off to wrestle gremlins-“
“Goblins?”
Leonard gave him a Look before continuing, “Or waving around goddamned witchcraft when someone’s injured.” Almost always the same Someone, at that.
Felix nodded slowly. “Because that’s your responsibility, and you’ll be damned if you let anything interfere with your patients’ care.” His mouth twitched as Leonard reassessed him. “I actually agree, you know. More than you might think. Your medicine can do things I’ve never seen a healer do, and I’m not a trained healer even on my world. What I can do is pretty limited. I can stop idiots bleeding to death when they drop their axe on their foot, or patch up small ailments out in villages with no healer. I’ve done some pretty good work when I’ve had to- but you know better than I do, keeping someone on their feet long enough to finish a fight doesn’t mean there won’t be complications later.”
He pushed the basket a little closer. “What I’m trying to say is, I’d be a fool not to trust your skills over mine. Especially when it comes to… the people we both care for. But emergencies happen, and I want to help you when I can. So… I made you these. Most of them will just help keep you on your feet in a pinch. Say, next time half of deck thirteen comes down with the Gods-Only-Know fever and you’re kept up wrestling them all back into bed.”
Leonard knew a determined sweet-talking when he was on the receiving end, (he'd known Jim for years) but it was hard not to feel mollified some, after all that. He lifted his eyebrows anyway as he reached in for a bottle. “You realize I’m still gonna screen samples from all of these t’see what’s in them?”
“By all means,” Felix replied, all cheerful confidence. “That one’s mostly just cheese and bread anyway.”
Leonard stopped with his hand around a glass neck as that registered. “You made fondue. In a bottle?”
Felix developed the look of a man swiftly recalculating. “Well, no- it's a- a potion..."
He’d turned the bottle over to look at the contents by then. “You made me bottled fondue… and it’s bright green.”
“…Well, it was green cheese.” That sounded a little too much like thinking fast, but he didn’t crack when Leonard looked up at him. “Orcish cheese is green.”
“Did it start out that way?” Unless Orcish cheese was liquid at room temperature too, Leonard was forming a lot of questions about the consistency of the stuff. Be charitable, assume Felix used a lot of water, and still…
“Of course! Trust me, doctor, this formula has been used for centuries. It really does work. Just… try it when you need it. And the others, they’re all labelled with what they’re for.”
As much as he dearly wanted to drag this out and watch Felix try to explain his kitchen-blender medicine, there was no winning this one. Leonard decided to ease off a little. He still couldn’t resist asking, “What’s in the other-“
“Herbs,” Felix said, firmly and finally. He held the doctor’s eye until Leonard grunted to hide his stifled chuckle.
“All right, I’ll, uh, keep them in reserve.” The bottles might look kind of decorative on a shelf, at least. And if this kept Felix from getting ideas about interfering with his work, he could live with the bargain. He made a note to have those tests run ASAP, though. If Felix was regularly swallowing bread mold elixirs it might explain a few things. For diplomacy's sake, he said, “Appreciate you going to the trouble.”
“I hope you find them useful, someday.” Felix gave him a confident look, like he was sure that would happen eventually. “Have a good day, doctor.”
“You too. And Felix? Glad to see those hands healed up well.”
His smile was pure sunshine before he slipped out the door. “I’m grateful to have them back.”
Leonard eyed the basket for a minute, then picked it up and set it out of sight behind the desk. Later he’d double-take to find the small bottle of Dragontail Whiskey tucked in among the others, and that? That would give him a genuine smile.
